Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers

Illiterate?  Write today for free help.

Tired of cleaning yourself?  Let me do it.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Stock up and save.  Limit: one

Semi-annual after-Christmas sale.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home too.

In a laundry add:
  We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Vacation special: have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts. Zap does it in 24 hours.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere and be cheated. Come here first.

Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

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